Let’s Talk About It!

Postpartum recovery is typically portrayed as a rapid return to pre-pregnancy weight and shape. For many people, this is not an accurate representation. Many people never return to pre-pregnancy weight or shape. Some do but have to put in a lot of work to make that happen. I have a short torso so when I was pregnant, I carried my baby out in front. I started showing early and was very round. I had many Read more

I am important. My voice matters. My experience is real. My experience, my identity, and my life have value. I deserve to take up space. I am important. My voice matters. I do not owe anyone an explanation of my gender. I have control over my own identity. I have a right to any label that feels right for me. I am important. My voice matters. I do not owe anyone an explanation of my Read more

I recently celebrated my first Nonbinary Parent’s Day and Mother’s Day as a parent so I thought I’d share what those days felt like for me as a nonbinary person. Some background: I am more comfortable being called a parent than a mother or a momI identify with parts of ‘mom culture’ but the parts I don’t identify with feel really wrong to me, mostly for gender related reasonsMy parental term of choice is ‘Mur’ Read more

Baby clothes are predominantly marketed as being for girls or boys. Even though the babies that wear them are too young to have any concept of gender. Even though clothing isn’t inherently gendered. The only reason for this is so that families that have a second child of a different sex than the first have to buy a whole new set of clothes. Society has bought into this idea so strongly that a baby’s clothing Read more

This is a continuation of Trans Wisdom: Consumer Categories are Irrelevant (Part 1) INTERESTS AND CAREERS ARE FOR EVERYONE I think you’re getting the picture by now. This categorization of clothing, jewelry, makeup, toys, and just about every consumer item also gets applied to activities and careers. Many cis people fight against this with varying levels of difficulty. But many people are unaware that they have been guided towards some interests and away from others. Read more

CLOTHING IS FOR EVERYONE Have you ever been shopping for clothes in the part of the store that is labeled with your gender and felt like nothing fits you or feels like the right style? Have you ever shopped for yourself in the other section of the store? Because our society sees masculinity as the standard and femininity as a deviation that is only acceptable for specific people, I would guess that people who identify Read more

PRONOUNS ARE FOR EVERYONE Since trans people have become more visible, pronouns have been discussed a lot more openly. The funny thing is, we were all using pronouns the whole time. We were simply assuming the gender of the people around us based on their presentation and then assigning the pronoun that related to that gender. What trans people are trying to show the general public is that not only can you not assume someone’s Read more

COMMUNITY HAS EXPERIENCIAL KNOWLEDGE Many things in life, including transitioning, are difficult, complex, and not well understood by the general public. Navigating these experiences is difficult in part because there is so little information available about what to expect, what to avoid, and what resources are available and helpful. Communities are full of people who have gone there before you. They have way more knowledge and information that is tried, tested, and true than any Read more

YOUR IDENTITY IS YOUR OWN In the first post in the Trans Wisdom series, I talked about how the bodies of trans people don’t determine their gender identities (or any other aspects of their identity) which means that is true for everyone. It is your choice to allow your body to inform your identity in whatever way makes sense to you. You have control over your own identity. This is not only true for your Read more

YOUR BODY DOESN’T DETERMINE YOUR GENDER. YOU DO. Trans people learn very quickly that their body and all the assumptions that go along with it don’t define their gender. Whether the body they were born into feels wrong or not, their identity is separate. If this is true for trans people, it is also true for cis people. Maybe you feel at home in your body and the gender you were assigned at birth. But Read more