Let’s Talk About It!

The majority of the world’s cultures are structured around the gender binary – male and female. Everyone who grows up in these cultures is automatically trained to see everything around them through the lens of the gender binary. We are trained to associate almost everything around us with gender. Similar to prescribing human traits to animals, a lot of these associations are fake. Even when we ascribe gender to a person, it is often based Read more

As a queer family, gender roles don’t really exist. Traditionally, the man goes to work, earns the money, drives the car, does house and auto repairs, and plays sports with the kids. Traditionally, the woman stays home, takes care of the kids, keeps the house clean, does the shopping, and cooks meals. This is all based on societal norms that are harmful and unnecessary. When I met my husband, we both identified as women. We Read more

Back in 2008, a few years after my initial gender questioning experience but many years before I actually figured out my gender or heard the term ‘nonbinary’, I wrote a poem for an LGBT publication at my university. I was going through boxes of notebooks and found the one I had written it in. Reading through it, I found it incredible how accurate it still feels. I don’t even think it was chosen for the Read more

If the year 2020 taught us anything, it was that anything can happen and we need to be flexible in order to survive. One of the ways I failed in this was when I set my goals for 2020. Every year in December I set up my bullet journal for the next year. This includes writing down my goals and deciding how I’m going to track them. Having goals that work for me helps me Read more

PLANNING When I was pregnant and looking ahead to having a newborn, it was very hard for me to tell how I would feel about nursing. I have dysphoria around my chest that fluctuates and when I read information on or listened to people talk about ‘breastfeeding’, my dysphoria would get worse. I didn’t always know if that was because I was feeling more masculine at the time I was absorbing the information, because the Read more

Many people that have a fluid gender identity use different names and/or pronouns at different times. Figuring out how to make this work for you can be a challenge, and then following through and making it happen is even harder. I’m still learning how to do this but I thought I’d share what I’ve learned so far. KNOW YOURSELF The first step to knowing what pronouns or name you prefer at a given time or Read more

We always say that if you don’t know someone’s gender or pronouns, just ask. But how do you do that in a respectful way? As a stranger, we can use they/them pronouns and avoid gendered language for everyone we meet until they specify. But what if this is a new colleague or a friend of a friend? Or what if your partner or child just told you they are questioning their gender? The closer you Read more

ALLYSHIP 101 Being an ally for any minority takes more than being accepting of a friend or acquaintance from that identity. Not being a biggot is not the same thing as being an ally. Being an ally isn’t a perspective, a state of mind, or even a level of understanding. It requires ongoing action that at first can be a challenge but eventually becomes automatic. As someone who is part of a majority group, it Read more

On August 27, 2020, a new member of the family was born. Our little one has a full head of hair and is doing well, as are we. But parenting a newborn, especially your first child, is not easy. There are many fears, frustrations, and sleepless nights. Of course, there are also the successes, excitement, and pleasant surprises. The first three months are said to be the hardest. The baby is the most dependent and Read more

https://media.blubrry.com/lets_talk_gender/p/content.blubrry.com/lets_talk_gender/Season_2_Episode_8_Nonbinary_Pregnancy_and_Parenting.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download Hi everyone. Welcome back to Let’s Talk Gender. This episode is about pregnancy and parenting as a nonbinary person including navigating the incredibly gendered world of fertility and pregnancy, the physical experience of being pregnant, and my thoughts as I look ahead to parenting. FERTILITY AND TRYING TO CONCEIVE Over the course of four years, my husband and I tried as many methods of getting pregnant as we Read more