Let’s Talk About It!

Growing up I never really noticed mood effects from the winter. The shortest days were still at least 10 hours of sunlight. Then I moved north and now the days get shorter much earlier and the shortest days are only 7 hours of sunlight. It’s amazing what those extra 3 hours can do. In the last few years I’ve noticed my mood, motivation, and energy level dropping around mid October. By November, if I haven’t Read more

Finding a balance between being a good support for the trans person in your life and your own mental health is extremely difficult. When do you follow their lead and put your own reservations and grief aside and when do you ask them to slow down to give you time to process the changes? The most important thing to take into account is safety – both psychological and physical. In general, the trans person will Read more

Talking about your gender identity can be hard, draining, scary, and even jeopardize your safety. But it can also be hugely rewarding, allowing you to be open, honest, more comfortable, find the support you need, as well as educate others. So how do you decide if it’s worth having those conversations? How do you know when the right time is? And how do you actually start the conversation or respond to a probing question? The Read more

Explaining what dysphoria feels like to cis people is always difficult. In order to try to understand they relate it to their own experiences of discomfort with body image or not fitting the stereotypes for their gender. While these experiences are generally in the right ballpark, they are still not the same as dysphoria. Here are some of the phrases I have found that help: Wearing an ill-fitting piece of clothing that you can’t take Read more

‘Passing’ refers to blending in with societies norms and expectations for your gender. This includes presentation (clothes, facial and body hair, accessories, makeup, etc), voice, roles/interests, and mannerisms. The expectations for a specific gender will be different in different cultures and at different times in history but they are always present. Not everyone wants to pass. However, it is often easier to get by in life, not to mention safer, if you do pass. Some Read more

LOST IN TRANSITION With any change comes a letting go of what was and a discovery of what could be. This is the process of grieving. It can be overwhelming. As changes go, gender transition is one of the biggest. Some losses are forever. Some are temporary. Some are hard. Some are easy. Straightforward medical careAccessFertilityFamiliaritySafetySecurity Global travelFriendsFamilyRelationshipsRelatability Not everything you lose is negative. Some things that you lose are harder to recognize but should Read more

The most basic way to respect a trans person is by using their preferred name and pronouns whenever and wherever they have requested you do so. But there is much more to respecting someone’s gender than simply using the correct name and pronouns. Most of the time, when we are talking directly to someone, we don’t use their name and pronouns. It’s only when we refer to them in third person or talk about something Read more

Picking a new name is a quintessential part of gender transition. But not every trans person feels the need to change their name. Some are perfectly comfortable with their given name. Some have more than one name and use different ones depending on how they feel or who they’re with. This is my experience. Meaghan Meaghan is my given name and is not particularly gender neutral. But this doesn’t automatically mean I am uncomfortable with Read more

Having dysphoria can be an all-consuming experience. Especially when it first starts, when you first identify it as dysphoria, or when it shifts. If the dysphoria is stable over a longer period of time, it is somewhat easier to ignore and manage but even then, there are days when it is all-consuming. Dysphoria causes obsession about little things that no one else would care about. You might brush off their concern or minimize it but Read more

Dressing for Yourself Sometimes, you know exactly what you want to wear and you go ahead and wear it no matter what other people will think because it makes you feel good. Sometimes, you have to try on five different things before you find something that is comfortable. Sometimes, part of that struggle is the voice in your head warning you what other people will think or say or do if you wear what you Read more