Note: I refer to gender based vocal pitch ranges throughout this post. All ranges are based on cis averages used in vocal pitch analyzer apps and choral voice ranges. This is not my preferred way to talk about it and I wish I had better language to use that was not cis-normative but for ease of communication I have stuck with this phrasing.
Most of the time, I like my voice. It generally sits in a mid to low female range but I can easily push it to an androgynous range on days that I feel more male. The natural speaking range of my voice has lowered since my husband transitioned. As his voice dropped from Testosterone, mine sounded higher in comparison and I had more and more days where I consciously lowered the range I was using. Now it’s fairly natural in that range and doesn’t bother me very often.
However, there are certain situations where I raise the pitch of my voice intentionally or unintentionally. Some of these situations that I’ve noticed are:
- To be heard in a loud, echoing environment
- To be heard through a quiet microphone or speaker like at a drive through or over zoom
- When speaking fast and trying to articulate clearly at the same time
- To sound as non-threatening as possible
- When talking to pets, babies, or kids
The recent context of my job has involved many of these situations and I have noticed an increase in dysphoria and voice awareness as a result. I also had a sick pet recently and noticed that my voice was higher when I was talking to him in a calming sympathetic way and it really started to irritate me.
So I’ve been wondering: Why do we do this? Do we have to or is it just a habit? Do higher voices actually put people, pets, and kids more at ease? Or is it just playing into stereotypes associated with femininity and masculinity via female vs male vocal range (which is a cis-based average to begin with)? Can’t I come across as calming and sympathetic while speaking in a lower range?
Regardless of why or whether I have to or not, I’m trying to listen to my dysphoria and train myself out of the automatic increased-pitch reaction to certain situations. I’m worried that once I have a baby (only six weeks to go now!), if I’m constantly talking to them with a higher voice and triggering my dysphoria, I will begin to associate the dysphoria with those interactions and it will negatively affect my relationship with my kid and my overall mental health. Hopefully it will just take practice to train myself that it’s fine to talk to the baby in my lower vocal range and be just as soothing.
Have you had this experience? Do you raise or lower the pitch of your voice based on context? Does it trigger any internal discomfort (dysphoria or otherwise) for you? Are you trying to train yourself out of this habit or does the versatility work for you?
Leave me a comment below and let me know your thoughts and experiences!
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- Explaining Dysphoria to Cis People