OVERVIEW
Language and labels are used to communicate our identities to others but for trans people, the first step of this process is finding language and labels to understand and define our own identities.
There is a ton of language that is specific to the trans community and trans experiences and identities. As the partner of a trans person, finding this language can be helpful but also overwhelming.
The social context and definitions of labels change over time. Labels should be tools for self-definition, not boxes that we force people in to. Having a variety of labels can help you communicate your identity in a variety of contexts and still feel authentic.
Our identities change over the course of our lives and we need to give ourselves permission to re-evaluate our labels and explore new labels as needed.
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SHOW NOTES
Language
- Finding language to understand your own identity
- Talking to people from the queer community
- Looking things up online, YouTube
- Having a lack of language makes it very difficult to understand your own identity
- Feeling overwhelmed as a partner with all the new language and information
- Often feel one step behind the trans person
- Find your own resources and look up your own language and then ask the trans person if this matches their experience
- Finding new language to refer to yourself and your body to make yourself more comfortable
- The internal tension of referring to someone incorrectly to protect their identity/for their own safety
- So much gendered language that we have to change beyond just pronouns when someone transitions
- Communicating our identities to others requires bridging the gap between our understanding of language and terms and theirs
- Can go along with the terms/narrative that others understand to achieve the goal of the conversation
- Often takes a lot of energy to correct their use of language and explain the nuances
- Very difficult to explain non-binary experience or request neutral terminology and pronouns (hopefully this will get better in the future)
Labels
- Generational gap
- Labels seen as negative from when they were used as slurs
- Too much language, that it’s evolving too fast
- Reclaimed language used in a positive way by younger people but still viewed as negative by older people
- Labels being put on you can feel negative
- It tells you how they are seeing you but doesn’t change who you are
- Labels are terms for self-definition
- Allow communication of your identity
- Helps you find community
- Helps you connect with people who have similar experiences
- The more labels you have that you are comfortable with that have different connotations or definitions the more flexible you can be
- Specificity vs generality
- Widely understood vs newer or less well known terms
- The interconnection of labels for sexuality and gender can make some labels easier to use than others
- Feeling like you have to justify the labels you use can be frustrating and make you feel defensive
- The labels we use
- Trans, non-binary, co-gender
- Queer, gay, neutrosexual, pansexual
- Trans vs transgender vs transexual
- Not everyone feels the need to have lots of labels or any at all and instead, prefer the more general terms
- Our identities evolve over the course of our lives and we need to give ourselves permission to re-evaluate our labels and explore new labels as needed
RELATED POSTS
- Talking About Your Gender Identity: When, Why, and How
- Misgendering is More Than Name and Pronouns
- Why Labels Matter
- How to Explain your Fluid Gender Identity
- Why I Don’t Identify as Trans
- Bridging the Gap Between Mainstream and Queer/Trans Culture
- The Labels I Use and Why
- The Intersections of Gender and Sexual Orientation
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