Having a menstrual cycle is treated as a very female experience. It is seen as the transition from being a girl to being a woman. It is treated as a symbol of fertility and future motherhood. So it is understandable that people who menstruate but who do not identify as women would struggle a lot with this time of the month.
Menstruation is a huge trigger for dysphoria in a lot of people. For people that menstruate who don’t identify as women, they are going through PMS mood swings and the physical pain of cramps and the inescapable bleeding all while combating feelings that this invalidates their gender identity, that their body is doing things that feel wrong, and that no one would understand how this feels if they ever had the courage to talk about it.
Then there are the women who have never menstruated and never will. They hear other women complaining about their symptoms, having to take birth control pills, or see it represented in media (on the rare occasion). Not having a period and not being able to relate to the experience of having a menstrual cycle can feel invalidating of their identity as a woman.
There are many reasons why a woman may not have a menstrual cycle. And it’s not only women that can menstruate. We need to start separating the things our bodies do and the way our bodies look from gender. Menstruation is something that some bodies do. It does not belong solely to women and it is not necessary in order to be a woman.
Menstruation is something that some bodies do. It does not belong solely to women and it is not necessary in order to be a woman.
I am an AFAB, non-binary, genderfluid person. When it comes to my period, I am one of the lucky ones. Almost every menstrual cycle, my gender shifts in the female direction with the beginning of my period and has a corresponding shift in the male direction as my period ends. This means I have very little dysphoria when it comes to my period. Sure, I still have the fatigue and cramps and grossness but I feel more female than male at the time so it feels in line with my gender. Usually these shifts in my gender are gradual over the course of a couple days but when they happen in the span of a few hours it makes me feel very cranky, out of sorts, and often dysphoric. Maybe this pattern is hormonal, maybe its societal. All I know is that it’s consistent and very helpful.
I figured out this pattern by tracking my gender for a couple months which I describe here. Knowing this pattern has helped me significantly when managing dysphoria. I know to watch for the shift in my gender around the time when my period is supposed to start and then again as it’s ending which allows me to adapt my presentation and dysphoria management strategies more easily.
Not everyone with a fluid gender will have predictable fluctuations in their gender like I do and not everyone will have fluctuations based on a menstrual cycle. My gender fluctuates in less predictable ways during the middle of my cycle.
Regardless of whether someone’s gender fluctuates or not, they do not need to be a woman to menstruate and they do no need to menstruate to be a woman.
What influences your experience of your gender? Do you experience dysphoria related to having or not having a menstrual cycle? Leave a comment below with your experiences!