Tag: AMAB

Why Using AMAB and AFAB is Problematic

I have used AMAB (assigned male at birth) and AFAB (assigned female at birth) many times since I started this blog. But I recently heard an argument against using these terms that I think is worth sharing.

Though the terminology of ‘assigned at birth’ is better than ‘biological sex’ or simply ‘sex’, it doesn’t change the fact that these are still broad categories based on sex-at-birth characteristics. I often use these terms as a general reference to ‘people who grew up being read as female due to an estrogen-based puberty’ and ‘people who grew up being read as male due to a testosterone-based puberty’. But this still makes the assumption that someone’s sex assigned at birth will determine the type of puberty they have, the characteristics and functions of their body, how they are socialized, and how they are read by society. Boiling all of that down to someones’s sex assignment is limiting, unhelpfully broad, and extremely exclusionary to intersex people.

I am trying to replace my use of these terms with more specific references. Here are some examples.

  • People who were raised female/male
  • People who menstruate/don’t menstruate
  • People with uteruses and/or vaginas
  • People who produce sperm
  • People with penises
  • People who lactate
  • People with facial hair
  • People with dysphoria due to a rounded chest
  • People who are assumed to be female/male
  • People with a low voice (bass/baritone range)
  • People with a high voice (soprano range)
  • People who are trying to masculinize their appearance/presentation
  • People who are trying to feminize their appearance/presentation

In almost any instance where I would normally use the shorthand of AFAB or AMAB there is a better phrase that is more specific to the context that I am referring to and therefore the people who might share this experience. It may use more words to say it but it ends up being more inclusive, more specific, and much more easily understood by a wider range of people.

Using more descriptive phrases relates our gender to our experiences, not to our sex assignment at birth or the gender that society assigns to our body. You avoid the constant reminder that society got it wrong (and often continues to get it wrong). Many people who would be turned off by that reminder would have no problem engaging in discussion when they are referred to using one of the alternative phrases above.

These descriptive phrases are also more inclusive of nonbinary people who may not share all the same desires, types of dysphoria, and presentation preferences as binary trans folks. If referring to AMAB trans people with the assumption that they share the experience of attempting to feminize their appearance in various ways, this could be frustrating and exclusionary of intersex and nonbinary people.

So next time you go to use the acronym AMAB or AFAB, try replacing it with a more specific and descriptive phrase. I know I will. Since I started trying to do this, there haven’t been any instances where I felt like the acronyms worked better.

What is your experience with these acronyms? Do they rub you the wrong way or not bother you at all? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts!

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AFAB and AMAB Non-Binary Differences and Similarities

Note: Since writing this post I have learned that the use of AMAB and AFAB to categorize people, especially nonbinary people, is exclusionary, reductive, and often not helpful in describing experiences in an accessible way. I am working to stop using these terms. I have chosen to leave this post up for now. If you feel strongly about what is written here please leave a comment or send me an email. I appreciate your input.

I recently joined Instagram in an attempt to find more non-binary community. For the most part it has been immensely helpful and wonderful. But one of the things that surprised me was how uncomfortable it was for me to see images of AMAB non-binary folks playing around with their presentation. I was not uncomfortable because I thought they looked strange or weird (they didn’t, they looked awesome), I was uncomfortable because as a non-binary person I was expecting to empathize with them and instead, when I automatically pictured myself using similar strategies for presentation, it made me super dysphoric. This post is an attempt to explore that experience.

AMAB and AFAB people are going to feel dysphoric in different ways and are therefore going to use different strategies to mitigate that dysphoria. This can lead to vastly different, or sometimes completely opposite, gender expressions. For example, an AFAB person might wear a binder, wear traditionally male clothing, and limit their use of makeup. An AMAB person might wear traditionally female clothing, makeup, jewelry, or nail polish.

This is not to say that in order to ‘be’ non-binary, you have to alter your appearance to conform to the other binary gender from what you were assigned at birth. There is no one way to ‘be’ non-binary. There is no ‘right’ way to be non-binary. You can be AFAB, wear a dress and makeup and paint your nails and still be non-binary. But often, dysphoria is either related to aspects of our bodies and biology, or related to how we are viewed by society. Altering our body shape and presentation can help with the dysphoria or lead to gender euphoria and there are strategies that are common among AMAB people and vastly different strategies that are common among AFAB people.

Despite these differences that have made it hard for me to relate to images of AMAB non-binary people, there are many similarities in how we experience the world. We all had to struggle to figure out why we felt uncomfortable with either of the binary gender options that were presented to us. We all had to figure out how to communicate our identity to ourselves and others. We all struggle to have our identity recognized as valid by those around us and society at large. We all struggle against binary assumptions, expectations, and limitations.

There are some AMAB non-binary people who, having taken estrogen, have some breast development and occasionally wear a binder. Or some AFAB people who take low dose testosterone to lower their voice and change their body structure but don’t want facial hair and end up having electrolysis. So even with what seem like vast differences in our strategies to present authentically, non-binary folks can have experiences that overlap in important and interesting ways.

What similarities or differences have you experienced with other non-binary folks? Have you been able to connect with people who share your identity but were assigned a different gender at birth? Leave a comment below and tell me what you think!

Why I Don’t Identify As Trans

Trans

The root word trans typically means across or change. As a queer identity it has two main meanings. The binary version is that a trans person identifies with the opposite gender from what they were assigned at birth (still the way society interprets the label). The gender spectrum version is that they do not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth (this is the definition that I use). None of these definitions really fit me as I still do identify with the gender I was assigned at birth but I also identify with other parts of the gender spectrum at the same time.

experience with a label is important

My experience with the trans label is primarily through my husband’s transition from female to male. This involved a change of name both socially and legally, a change of gender pronouns and legal gender marker, and various components of a medical transition. None of this applies to me or what my personal acceptance and exploration path looks like (at least not yet).

Trans is not the same as ‘not cis’

For me, Trans is a specific identity that covers many different types of experiences but not necessarily all identities that are not cis. Many people use it as an umbrella term to cover any identity that is not cis-gendered (their gender matches what they were assigned at birth). Technically I would fall under that umbrella term. But that is not how I define trans. I don’t see ‘trans’ and ‘cis’ as opposites. Someone else with an identity similar to mine is totally free to use the label trans if it suits them.

Presentation

Even though my presentation is often fairly masculine, I am socially read as female. If I used the label trans I would either be read as a pre-T trans guy or a trans woman (which is a label that is generally used by AMAB people who identify as female), neither of which applies to me and really just confuses the situation.

Me

My gender is both the same as what I was assigned at birth and includes a component that is different from what I was assigned at birth. My husband’s experience is very different from mine and I strongly associate the label ‘trans’ with his experience. Many people who are not cis have a feeling of being ‘not trans enough’ to earn the label or to ‘qualify’ to use the label trans. I too have to fight against the feeling of not being legitimate in my gender experience but since I do not have an affinity with the label ‘trans’ I can’t express it using the phrase ‘not trans enough’. I have found other labels I prefer which you can read about here.

 

What is your definition and experience of the label Trans? Is it a label you identify with? Have you struggled with other people assuming your identity is something other than what it is as a result of using the label Trans? If you don’t associate with the label Trans, what other labels do you use instead? Leave a comment below and share your experiences!

Differences in AFAB and AMAB Cross-Gender Exploration and Transition

Note: Since writing this post I have learned that the use of AMAB and AFAB to categorize people, especially nonbinary people, is exclusionary, reductive, and often not helpful in describing experiences in an accessible way. I am working to stop using these terms. I have chosen to leave this post up for now. If you feel strongly about what is written here please leave a comment or send me an email. I appreciate your input.

Historically in society the default has generally been masculine. This is slowly changing but is still true in a lot of ways. One of the main ways this is brought to my attention on a regular basis is that it is deemed appropriate for women to present in a more masculine way but it is not ok for men to present in a feminine way. The ‘androgynous ideal’ is often seen as someone with short hair and a flat chest both of which are typically masculine aspects of appearance.

AFAB people 

exploring your masculinity or trying to decrease your femininity

Pros

  • You can explore your gender and presentation without having to justify it as much.
  • Cis women who prefer an androgynous or masculine presentation are fairly easily accepted by society.

Cons

  • Your efforts to express a more masculine or less feminine gender will be seen as changes to your presentation only and will not necessarily be seen as a reflection of your gender. Therefore, people will not necessarily adjust the language they apply to you or your gender category until you explicitly come out.
  • You may have to over-masculinize to feel like it is having an impact on how people see and interact with you.

As an AFAB person exploring my mostly neutral but somewhat fluctuating gender and trying to present more masculine at times to reflect that, this has definitely been my experience.

AMAB people

exploring your femininity or trying to decrease your masculinity

Pros

  • Once you are ready to come out it will only take a few minor changes in your presentation for society to start questioning your gender and applying new language to you.
  • You will not need to overly-feminize (unless you want to) in order for society to take notice.

Cons

  • It is very difficult for you to explore your gender without society noticing and potentially putting yourself in a dangerous situation
  • Cis men who want to explore or express their femininity have difficulty doing so without having their gender identity questioned.

This leads to AFAB people having difficulty gaining male privilege because they are still deemed female no matter how masculine they present and AMAB people losing male privilege very easily as soon as they present slightly feminine.

For those people who are interested in undergoing medical transition there are distinct differences in experience with certain aspects of transition due to society’s specifications of how they identify someone as female or male at a glance.

AFAB people

attempting to be read by society as male

Pros

  • Male puberty overrides female puberty so taking Testosterone results in slow but effective changes to allow you to ‘pass’ as male fairly easily (voice lowering, growing facial hair, building muscle, body fat redistribution).

Cons

  • Producing the appearance of a flat chest is very difficult either by wearing a binder which is uncomfortable at best and injuring at worst, or surgery which has a difficult recovery and leaves obvious scars.
  • Surgery to relieve dysphoria associated with genitalia or provide a sense of physical euphoria or completeness has a high rate of complication and may require an extensive skin graft again resulting in visible scarring while providing minimal benefit for sexual function.
AMAB People

attempting to be read by society as female

Pros

  • Producing the appearance of breasts is fairly easy, either with breast forms and a bra or through a well refined surgery for breast augmentation if hormones do not produce the desired effect.
  • Surgery to relieve dysphoria associated with genitalia or provide a sense of physical euphoria or completeness, while still having a fairly high risk of complication, also is highly effective.

Cons

  • Because male puberty trumps female puberty, starting Estrogen after completing male puberty does not reverse the effects (facial and body hair continues to grow, voice remains lower) and though some breast tissue may develop, it is not always enough to provide the appearance of a typically female chest.

Caveat: The pros/cons related to hormone replacement therapy (HRT) will differ if you’re on hormone blockers prior to the start of puberty.

This all results in trans men ‘passing’ more easily but potentially having ongoing physical dysphoria or visible scarring as a result of surgery and trans women having difficulty ‘passing’ but having effective surgical options if desired.

These are my own observations during my husband’s transition from female to male, my experiences as an AFAB genderqueer person, and listening to other trans people’s experiences. If your experiences match or differ from these observations please leave a comment below!