WHY BOTTLE FEEDING?
If you’ve been following along with our journey, you’ll know that we have been bottle feeding our baby since they were two weeks old. This is because of issues with lactation and dysphoria. As soon as we tried bottles, it was night and day. It just worked so much better for us.
Generally, bottle feeding is treated as a stand-in or substitute for the more preferred nursing/body-feeding. I don’t think this is fair. In our case, I was able to be much more present and engaged in the activity of feeding my baby when feeding from a bottle than feeding from my body. I actually enjoyed holding them close and snuggling as they ate. So as far as I’m concerned, whatever feeding method allows your baby to be fed the calories they need in a safe way and allows you to connect with them as much as possible is the best way to feed your baby.
So, because we’ve been bottle feeding since two weeks old, we’ve had a pretty solid routine of mixing formula, heating bottles, feeding and cuddling our baby 3-4 times per day, and steralizing/washing the bottles and nipples. Even after we started giving solid foods, they continued to drink the majority of their bottles. This started to change around ten months.
THE END IS NIGH
As our baby got better at eating solid foods, we started offering solids more often. We started with only at lunch time, then added dinner time, then added breakfast, and now have 3-5 times they will eat depending on what is happening. At about ten months, they started to drink less and less of the formula in the bottles. So we cut down from four bottles a day to three. We had to try this a few times before it actually worked without them getting too hungry.
Then, as we increased the number of solid food meals we were offering, we just ran out of time in the day to offer as many bottles. Our baby was also too interested in playing and cruising to want to sit still to drink from the bottle. So, for a little while, we offered formula in a sippy-cup style bottle with a straw. They drank way more from that than when they were forced to sit still and drink from a baby bottle. It worked great as a transition from three bottles to two.
Then the bottle at the end of the day, after dinner, was becoming more and more of a struggle. Our baby would either be too tired, too full from dinner, or too active to want to sit still and drink. So we did the same thing – put some formula in a sippy cup that they could drink from on the go if they wanted, or not, as they chose. And more often than not, was left mostly untouched. So, rather suddenly, we were down to only one bottle per day – first thing in the morning.
As they turn one year old, this is where we’re at. They are doing great getting calories from solid foods and cows milk during the day, and have one bottle of formula, and the cuddles that go with it, first thing in the morning. How long will this last? Who knows. But getting here from a solid four bottles a day was a pretty smooth and steady process.
FOLLOWING MY BABY’S LEAD
The biggest thing throughout this transition from bottle feeding to eating primarily solids was following my baby’s lead. Some of the signs we noticed along the way that told us they were ready for the next step were:
- Eating less from each bottle
- Getting antsy while drinking from a bottle and giving up on it in favour of playing
- Preferring to drink from the bottle while on the go instead of while cuddling
- Doing well drinking water independently from a straw cup with handles
- Doing well consuming solid foods multiples times a day
Some of the signs that we were progressing too fast for them were:
- Being too hungry to focus on the newer skill of eating solid foods
- Getting cranky in the later afternoon before it was time for dinner despite having good sleep
- Drinking everything from every bottle we offered when they had not been finishing bottles for a while before we made the latest change
Most of the signs they were ready to progress were around skill acquisition and independence. Most of the signs that we were going too fast were aroung hunger. We never really noticed signs related to needing more cuddle time to make up for the loss of cuddle time as they were having fewer bottles. Maybe this is because we were still spending the majority of the time with them (as I was still on parental leave). Perhaps if they had been starting daycare at the same time this would have been a factor.
WHY DOES IT MATTER?
Just because my baby didn’t seem to be concerned by the decrease in cuddle time as they had fewer bottles didn’t mean it didn’t matter to me. I noticed it. Each time I feed them a bottle in the morning and they snuggle in my lap and hold onto my finger or touch my face, it resonates with all the memories of the other times we have done this. The late night times, the right-before-nap times, the out-at-the-park times. These memories around feeding my baby are visceral and strong and one of the main threads through the first year of their life – our entire existence together so far.
What will it be like when we no longer have that first bottle in the morning to bring those memories and emotions to the surface? What will we find as a substitute? I don’t know yet because we’re not quite there but I can tell you that, as much as I try to stay in the moment and not grieve in advance, I am already grieving the end of those feeding time cuddles.
On the other side, seeing them independently use a toddler cup and be in control of when they want some, how much they have, and hand it back to us when they’re done is so rewarding. This type of independence is a big part of feeling like my baby is becoming a toddler.
So, we will keep giving our baby a bottle first thing in the morning for as long as they want to have it. When we finish the formula we have, we will offer warm cows milk instead. Because sometimes it’s not what you’re feeding your baby that’s important, but the time you spend with them while you feed them.
Maybe by the time they give up that last bottle, family meal times will feel just as special as those cuddles in the rocking chair.
Where are you at in your feeding journey? What was your transition from nursing/body/bottle feeding to solids like? What emotions did it bring up along the way? Share your experiences in the comments!
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