The last few weeks of pregnancy are hard no matter what your experience is. You want it to be over but you’re nervous about the birthing process and having to care for the little being on the outside. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by frustration, discomfort, and anxiety, especially when dysphoria is thrown into the mix. So I’ve been asking myself a couple questions to keep myself focused on the positive and excited for the future. The answers to these questions will be different for everyone. Here are a few of my responses.
What am I going to miss about being pregnant (that I want to be fully present for while it’s still happening)?
- Feeling the baby move
- Feeling baby hiccups
- Having a strong, visceral, automatic bond with this being
- Being able to keep the baby fed, clean, and protected with my body
- The extra fuzz around my face and hair on my belly and chest
- The tenting effect of a shirt stretched out over my belly that hides my chest
- Also my chest feeling smaller in comparison to my much larger belly
What am I looking forward to once I’m not pregnant (not related to the baby because who knows what that will be like, just for myself)?
- Wearing my wedding ring
- Sleeping in any position
- Less pain, allowing me to walk without a cane or walker
- Especially going for walks in nature with my husband and dog
- Wearing my favourite clothes, especially underwear
- Wearing a binder (eventually)
- No more heartburn!
The other way to stay positive that works well for me is having a few key phrases that help me stay engaged and motivated despite constantly feeling uncomfortable. Again, these are very individual. What is helpful to me may not be to someone else but here are a few of the ones I’ve been using.
- I am nonbinary, therefore my body is nonbinary, therefore my experience of pregnancy, birthing, and parenting is a nonbinary experience.
- Stay cool and hydrated.
- Rest when you need to but don’t give up on getting things done. Try again later or find a different way to do it.
- Give the pets lots of attention and enjoy their cuddles.
- Take it one day, one week at a time.
- Every move the baby makes, no matter how uncomfortable, heavy, or nauseating, is a sign that they’re doing well.
- Your body is capable of amazing things. Listen to what it’s telling you and believe in the wisdom it holds.
I hope this focus on positivity, excitement, and empowerment helps you find ways to strengthen those emotions for yourself as well. Hang in there. The world is a crazy place whether there are big changes in your near future or not.