Lots of people have added their pronouns to their email sign-off or even their business cards in an attempt to normalize the practice of indicating your pronouns to others. This is encouraging for me to see but also makes me nervous. Here’s why.
Pros
- It shows an awareness of how challenging it can be to have to derail a conversation, come out to someone about your gender identity, and hope they don’t make a big deal out of it
- It shows an understanding of how important pronouns are to gender non-conforming and trans people
- It makes an implicit promise that this person will respect your identity and pronouns and helps people identify allies
- It takes the edge off the constant analysis about safety and creates a relationship and space that starts off as at least neutral
Cons
- Doesn’t actually normalize pronouns until it is the standard
- In a specific workplace, it would be possible to make this practice mandatory, however that would take away the indication of pronouns as a flag that this person is an ally
- Indicating pronouns on correspondence could be uncomfortable or even unsafe for people who are questioning their gender identity or are not yet ready to come out to everyone
- It can be difficult for gender fluid or gender expansive folks who use multiple pronouns or different pronouns depending on the day and their current presentation
- It may lead to some non-binary erasure for non-binary folks that prefer pronouns that match their gender assigned at birth due to cisnormativity
I have seen some people at universities and some people within the queer community indicate pronouns on correspondence. I am happy when I see it but immediately wonder what I would put on my email sign-off. I prefer they/them pronouns but I’m comfortable enough with she/her that fighting to have everyone use they/them would not be worth it for me. Combine that with the fact that I work in a hospital and I am not yet out to the majority of people at work and I wonder if I would be comfortable putting they/them.
I know for sure that if I only put she/her I would feel invisible, inauthentic, and generally shitty every time I saw it. Because I would have actively chosen to put it there. I would have effectively misgendered myself on every email I sent. This would feel way worse that it does when the people I am not yet out to misgender me.
So, at the moment, if this became a mandatory workplace policy out of good intentions, I’m not sure what I would do. Whatever pronouns I decided to put down, I would definitely be having some in depth conversations with my manager and/or HR.
How do you feel about indicating pronouns on correspondence? Would you feel comfortable doing this yourself? Leave a comment below!